Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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