Whod you bang
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
