Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Found your dick twin last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize