he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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