I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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