we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
A bitchslap is in order.
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