My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
