real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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