If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
