my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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