i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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