Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
