one two three fourrrrnication!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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