Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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