Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
