I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
