Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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