And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
