i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
