what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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