Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize