plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
