So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
