I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
