so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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