just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize