why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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