So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
