My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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