I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
