The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
