I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
