i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize