I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize