Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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