bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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