Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (835) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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  (402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (2123)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.

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  (415): Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass. http://tfl.nu/ng8b
  Replies (71) Good night (6436) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?

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  (541): you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me? http://tfl.nu/hd4u
  Replies (66) Good night (4304) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?

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  (713): Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/a6k0
  Replies (13) Good night (4598) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family

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  (973): So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family http://tfl.nu/6om1
  Replies (11) Good night (4009) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?

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  (928): whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"? http://tfl.nu/az64
  Replies (37) Good night (4324) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

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  (347): it's been a while because I don't count the hooker http://tfl.nu/ahgm
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (3190)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.

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  (910): Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse. http://tfl.nu/i97p
  Replies (19) Good night (1062) Bad night (2551)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on

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  (717): Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on http://tfl.nu/fp8y
  Replies (6) Good night (2923) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.

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  (903): I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper. http://tfl.nu/88zt
  Replies (7) Good night (1603) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  wow. THAT good huh

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  (778): he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year (604): wow. THAT good huh http://tfl.nu/7t5m
  Replies (16) Good night (2006) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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  (408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

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  (505): He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself. http://tfl.nu/17i2
  Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.

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  (586): I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting. http://tfl.nu/4wbm
  Replies (12) Good night (328) Bad night (861)

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