All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
