Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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