Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis. http://tfl.nu/4cqk
  Replies (22) Good night (1402) Bad night (4238)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4867) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn
  Replies (27) Good night (5832) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof? http://tfl.nu/enhx
  Replies (11) Good night (2941) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server. http://tfl.nu/p1uj
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56
  Replies (6) Good night (1398) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh
  Replies (8) Good night (2042) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k
  Replies (14) Good night (2048) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat. (1-773): Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious. (773): We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru? http://tfl.nu/d3s4
  Replies (7) Good night (1455) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (+02): View more from

  I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+02): I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods http://tfl.nu/ntv5
  Replies (1) Good night (1014) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive. http://tfl.nu/y5fy
  Replies (8) Good night (516) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love? http://tfl.nu/bkra
  Replies (7) Good night (555) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month... http://tfl.nu/b4al
  Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him. http://tfl.nu/18mb
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (196)

Randomize