some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.