He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site