Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
