My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
