Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't put those talents on a resume
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
