"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nutella sex= disaster
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
