Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this just has baby written all over it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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