Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it's like heaven, but drunker
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
