Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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