I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
FUCK WHALES
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
