I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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