Will you blow on my dice?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
