come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
