he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
