but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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