i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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