You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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