So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
