Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
