You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
