I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
