Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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