You're so nebulous sometimes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
