Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
