Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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