I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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